RPR 106: Update from the rose garden

plus Disney bros, a nightclub rescue, and a scary poodle

BEHOLD THIS GLORIOUS CREATURE. This! This was my rose inspo, the dream I had in mind when I brought that little Midas Touch branch back from Grocery Outlet Bargain Market last week. And now that dream is (almost) dead! Perhaps I will knock on this gardener’s door and ask her to join me in my fight for justice. Photo credit: Kristin Leong, Seattle, May 24, 2023.

In case you missed it, last week I shared a scandal that rocked my garden and shook the very foundation of my midlife decision to Mind My Own Business.

The horrible news is, my rose branch is not recovering well from the trauma. The leaves are crispy and grey and my dog actually bit a few off and ate them like potato chips. Not great. But! There’s still a little green on the stem, so I’m going to keep watering it and whispering Pinterest affirmations to it. Please send your thoughts and prayers in this vulnerable time.

The also-horrible news is, no culprit has been identified, no guilty garden menace has stepped forward with regret and gushing apologies. So. The mystery lives on. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you all updated. Perhaps there will be a Rose Bush Report for RPR readers who are losing the most sleep over this senseless crime.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

These are the leaves of a plant that has been WRONGED. Here’s what this buddy looked like last week before and after The Incident. Photo credit: Kristin Leong, May 25, 2023.

SOMETHING TO READ

If you’ve been watching Succession (or reading tweets about Succession), you might be wondering: Are monologue-prone dudes with no impulse control really running the [media] world in understated neutrals and logo-free baseball hats? The answer is apparently yes, according to former BuzzFeed Editor-in-Chief, Ben Smith.

In an excerpt from his new book shared by Vanity Fair, “F--k Him, He Loses”: The Inside Story of How Disney’s Attempt to Buy BuzzFeed Fell Apart, Smith paints a picture of an alpha male media landmine where piles of real money are treated as mostly theoretical and women are absent.

From Smith, on Disney’s management retreat in Orlando just before BuzzFeed rejected an offer they really should have taken:

“Iger’s smooth public persona dominated the gathering. Executives worked out at 4 a.m. in hopes of running into him at the gym and, if they didn’t see him, returned at 6 a.m. They were the people who ran theme parks in Asia and cruise lines in Europe, and sold content in Latin America and Australia. They signed up for essentially mandatory and strangely competitive sporting events like softball. When Peretti looked down at them from the stage in the grand ballroom, he saw people dressed like their boss, strenuously casual in shorts and collared T-shirts, ready to pretend to be relaxed.”

I did not relate to any of this except for the pretending to be relaxed part! Enjoy and be horrified.

SOMETHING TO LISTEN TO

If you’ve ever been to a nightclub when people start looking around for the next place to hit up as they drain the last drops of their vodka Redbulls, you’ve probably seen the magic of Blue Monday in action if the DJ knows what she’s doing.

New Order’s 1983 hit is not just a crowd pleaser, it’s THE evening saver, at least according to a thousand DJs who voted it the “Best Song to Rescue a Night.”

This 27-minute episode from Song Exploder is a fascinating glimpse into how this record-crushing jam came to life, and how a bunch of introverts who didn’t want to return to the stage for encores wrote one of the best party anthems of all time while grieving their friend’s death. From Song Exploder in collaboration with Transmissions: Episode 252: NEW ORDER. Be ready to dance around your living room.

SOMETHING TO HOLD ON TO

Have you moved recently? Is your blank bathroom wall calling out for a little spark? Maybe that portrait of you holding that fish above your desk is feeling a bit Tinder hunk? Have I got the oil painting for you!

Sotheby’s is auctioning off an absolutely terrifying portrait of Marie Antoinette’s poodle named Pompon, who, by the looks of this painting, can see into human souls and prefers his bottom half free of fur or dignity.

The current bid for this priceless masterpiece from the early 1800’s is a bargain $11,000 USD. From Sotheby’s catalogue note, presented in utter seriousness:

“Although very little is known of the French artist Jacques Barthelemy Delamarre, he seemed to have a particular specialty for capturing the likeness of this small poodle, said to be “Pompon,” a beloved dog of Marie Antoinette’s. Delamarre painted several versions of this canine portrait, each of which varied slightly in composition, for example in the dog’s size and state of grooming.” 

Enjoy/beware!

THAT’S A WRAP ON ISSUE 106

Thanks for reading, listening, holding on, friends. And thank you for sending all your good witch vibes to my rose branch!!! I’M NOT GIVING UP.

See you next week.

K.